If you really loved me the way you say you do
If you love me half as much as I love you
You would pluck a planet from the sky
You’d use a star to dot the “i”
...
When their love for one another is true
Doo doo doo
..
But shirking challenges is not what love
Is all about
Love is not all wine and roses
Sometimes it’s handcuffs and cheese
No-one said love is for free
And if you agree with that
You’ll sing me passages from the koran wearing nothing but your Bob the Builder hat
To the tune of waltzing Matilda
/ / /
I just love the combination of islam, nationalism and buil--der
Because I need you
Like a tick needs a tock
Like bananas need pyjamas
Like a nun needs cock
But if you want to put your love for me first
You wouldn’t go through childbirth
You’d agree to adopt so that you could stay thin
We’ll get a Chinese kid, it could teach us Mandarin
And communists don’t make as much noise
And they’re really good at sharing their toys
Because I dig you
Like an Aussie digs pies
Like Born-Agains dig Jesus
Like Jesus dug guys