There was a thickset man with frog eyes who was standing at the door
And a little bald man with wing nut ears was waiting in the car
Well, Robert Moore passed the frog-eyed man as he walked into the bar
And Betty Coltrane, she jumped under her table
"What's your pleasure?", asked the barman, he had a face like boiled meat
"There's a girl called Betty Coltrane that I have come to see"
"But I ain't seen that girl 'round here for more than a week"
And Betty Coltrane, she had hid beneath the table
Well, then in came a sailor with mermaids tattooed on his arms
Followed by the man with the wing nut ears who was waitin' in the car
Well, Robert Moore sensed trouble, he'd seen it comin' from afar
And Betty Coltrane, she gasped beneath the table
Ah well, the sailor said, "I'm looking for my wife, they call her Betty
Coltrane"
And the frog-eyed man said, "That can't be, that's my wife's maiden name"
And the man with the wing nut ears said, "Hey, I married her back in Spain"
And Betty Coltrane crossed herself beneath the table
Well, Robert Moore stepped up and said, "That woman is my wife"
And he drew a silver pistol and a wicked bowie knife
And he shot the man with the wing nut ears straight between the eyes
And Betty Coltrane, she moaned under the table
Ah well, the frog-eyed man jumped at Robert Moore who stabbed him in the
chest
And as Mr. Frog-Eyes died he said, "Betty, you're the girl that I loved best"
Then the sailor pulled a razor, Robert blasted it to bits
"And Bettyyy, I know you're under the table"
"Well, have no fear," said Robert Moore, "I do not wanna hurt you"
"Never a woman did I love me half as much as you"
"You're the blessed sun, the meek girl, and you are the sacred moon"
And Betty shot his legs out from under the table
Well, Robert Moore went down heavy with a crash upon the floor
And over to his thrashin' body, Betty Coltrane, she did crawl
She put the gun to the back of his head and pulled the trigger once more
And blew his brains out all over the table
Well, Betty stood up and shook her head and waved the smoke away
Said, "I'm sorry, Mr. Barman, to leave your place this way"
As she emptied out their wallets she said, "I'll collect my severance pay"
Then she winked and threw a dollar on the table