Simple Simon - Words and music by Anthony Hill
Verse 1
There goes Simon, he’s got four girlfriends and a moped
They all want to ride on
But he’s only got one helmet and there’s only one of him
So you know who will be wearing it
They’re smiling and laughing, and as someone always says
It’s an accident waiting to happen
But he pretends that he cannot hear, he’s got his brothers’ licence
And he’ll be old enough himself this time next year
Chorus
A few more years from now, Simon will be looking round thinking
Why did nobody tell me, it wouldn’t always be so easy
To find a girl that likes me, now I’m older and I’m slightly
Overweight and I’m alone, the girls I knew have grown
They no longer answer the phone… when I ring them
Verse 2
It’s simple Simon, you picked all your fruit
Before it even had time to ripen
Now all the girls that liked ya have seen what you really were
At school; a bit of a wanker!
Chorus
Oh it’s such a shame, cos Simon has actually changed
He’s going “why did nobody tell me it wouldn’t always be so easy?”
To find a girl that likes me, now I’m older and I’m slightly
Overweight and I’m alone, the girls I knew have grown
They no longer answer the phone… when I ring them
Verse 3
It’s simple Simon; act your age and eventually
A nice girl will come along and find you
It’s simple Simon; act your age and eventually
The right girl will come along and maybe
Want to marry you and have your babies
Not particularly in that order!
*Repeat Chorus*