#----------------------------------PLEASE NOTE---------------------------------#
#This file is the author's own work and represents their interpretation of the #
#song. You may only use this file for private study, scholarship, or research. #
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Date: Sat, 29 Nov 1997 14:06:32 -0600
From: "Michael K. Moseley"
<mkmosele@inav.net>
Subject: Subject: PRO: The_Vasectomy_Song.crdpro by Larry Heagle
The Vasectomy Song by: Larry Heagle
Also performed by One-Man Johnson in Iowa City
Tabbed by: Mike Moseley (mkmosele@inav.net)
I heard this song on public radio about 15 years ago and have been
playing it for my friends ever since (taking time out for work, food,
sleep and personal time, of course). For those of you not
knowledgeable,
the Vas Deferens is what gets clipped in a 'Vas'ectomy.
=========================================================================
Well, I went to see my doctor,
I said, "Doc, I can't pay my bills
The rent's all spent and my truck's got a dent
And I think I'm a-gettin' the chills
>From bein' forced to sleep alone, oh, this house just ain't a home
We can't afford no more kids
My life in on the skids
Cause my woman says, 'Leave me alone'
Unless I get a vasectomy, I gotta get a vasectomy
Just one little male alteration,
can save [no chord] us from an other altercation
It's a vasectomy, I gotta get a vasectomy
Oh what a vas deferens it could be."
Well, the next thing I knew I was layin' on the table
With the lights shinin' in my eyes
They strapped my wrists and they strapped my ankles
And they double strapped my thighs
The nurses were gigglin' and I was wigglin' most uncomfortably
When the doctor walked in with a perverted grin
And here's what he said to me,
"It only hurts for a little while
That's what they tell me that's what they say, eh heh heh"
Well it's two weeks later and I feel a little better
And my mind is more at ease
The rent's still spent, my truck's still got a dent
But my woman's no longer a tease
And even down at the office, there's a lot more interest in me
Oh, the girls all grin when I walk in
And brother they mean to please
A man with a vasectomy, you oughta' get a vasectomy
Well, like a Sunkist orange, I've been freed
Cause it's [no chord] all juice and there's no seed
With a vasectomy, you oughta' get a vasectomy
Oh, what a vas deferens it could . . . .[no chord]
Now here is the part that I like the most
It takes the danger out of bein' close
Want a vas deferens it could . . . . [no chord]
The snipped those little suckers right in two
And then they clamped 'em off with Super Glue
What
A [
F]vas defer[
G]ens it could [
C]be. [
G] [
C] [
G] [
C]
=========================================================================
Best regards to Larry Heagle and One-Man Johnson.
I hope this brings a smile or at least a wince.
</mkmosele@inav.net>