Capo on 3rd
Well, oot of the east, there came a hard man,
Ohhoohh, all the way from Brigton
Ahhahh, glory hallelujah,
Cod liver oil and the orange juice.
Well, he went intae a pub and he come oot paralytic,
Ohhoohh, VP and cider,
Aahhahh, what a hell of a mixture,
Cod liver oil and the orange juice.
‘Sex rears its ugly head now!"
Does this bus go to the Danister Palais?
Ohhoohh, I'm lookin' for a lumber,
Ahhahh, glory hallelujah,
Cod liver oil and the orange juice.
"Eyes up the talent, and lo, and behold..."
In the dancin' he met Hairy Mary,
Ohhohh, the floo'er o' the Gorbels,
Ahhahh, glory hallelujah,
Cod liver oil and the orange juice.
Spoken: "He chats her up.."
"Ah, noo, Mary, are ye dancin'?"
"Oh, no, it's jest the way I'm standin'"
Ahhahh, glory hallelujah,
Cod liver oil and the orange juice.
"Rebuffed!"
"Well, then, Mary, you're one in a million",
"Ohhohh, so's yer chances!"
Ahhahh, glory hallelujah,
Cod liver oil and the orange juice.
"Rebuffed again!"
"Well, then, Mary, can I run ye hame?
Ohhoohh, I've got a pair of sandshoes
Aahhaahh," yer hell of a funny..."
Cod liver oil and the orange juice.
Spoken
"Never say die; sways aboot non-chalantly pickin' his nails wi' 'is bayonet; an 'e knocks 'er off!..."
Well, doon through the back close, and intae the dunny,
Ohhoohh, it wasnae for the first time,
Ahhahh, glory hallelujah,
Cod liver oil and the orange juice.
Then oot came her mammy, she was goin' tae the cludgie
Ohhoohh, I buggered off Sharpish
Ahhahh, glory hallelujah,
Cod liver oil and the orange juice.
Noo Hairy Mary's lookin' for her hard man
Ohhoohh, he's joined the Foreign Legion
Aahhaahh, Sahara and ra camel
Cod liver oil and the orange juice
Then Hairy Mary had a little baby,
Ohhoohh, his father's in the army,
Aahhaahh, glory hallelujah,
Cod liver oil and the orange juice.