A fine romance with no kisses,
A fine romance, my friend, this is;
We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes
But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potahtoes.
A fine romance, you won't nestle;
A fine romance, you won't wrestle.
You're just as hard to land as the Ile de France!
I haven't got a chance - this is a fine romance.
A fine romance, my good woman
My strong, aged-in-the-wood woman
You're calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean
At least they flap their fins to express emotion
A fine romance, with no clinches
A fine romance with no hitches
You never give the orchids I send a glance;
No, you like cactus plants - this is a fine romance.