Strikes the bell for five o'clock,
Uncle Arthur closes shop,
Screws the tops on all the bottles,
turns the lights out, locks it up.
Climbs across his bike and he's away
Cycles past the gas works, past the river,
down the high street,
Back to mother, it's another empty day.
Chorus:
Uncle Arthur likes his mummy
Uncle Arthur still reads comics
Uncle Arthur follows Batman.
Round and round the rumours fly,
how he ran away from Mum
On his 32nd birthday, told her that he'd found
a chum Mother cried and
raved and yelled and fussed
Arthur left her no illusion,
brought the girl round, save confusion
Sally was the real thing, not just lust
Chorus:
Uncle Arthur vanished quickly
Uncle Arthur and his new bride
Uncle Arthur follows Sally.
Round and round goes Arthur's head,
hasn't eaten well for days
Little Sally may be lovely,
but cooking leaves her in a maze
Uncle Arthur packed his bags and fled
Back to mother, all's forgiven,
serving in the family shop
He gets his pocket money, he's well fed
Uncle Arthur past the gasworks
Uncle Arthur past the river
Uncle Arthur down the high street
Uncle Arthur follows mother