It's about all the sad stuff. Just picture a depressed onion
cutting itself.
I met a homeless man named Rich
Isn't that terrible?
I saw a flyer for a lost dog
And the dog didn't have any legs
I saw a diabetic kid trick-or-treating
I saw a giraffe who had a short neck
That was sad, or a deer
I saw an old man get hit by a train
He didn't see it in the pouring rain
He didn't hear me shout, "Look out for the train!"
Because I didn't say anything.
I just thought to myself, "Ooh, this is gonna be sad."
And it was.
I'm a genius.
I saw a man with only one eye
In a 3D-movie
I saw a little boy drop his ice cream cone
Directly on his mother's corpse
I saw a kitten stuck in a tree
Then the kitten jumped off and he hung himself
I saw a boy who had red hair.
I went to a store looking for something to buy
But they only sold paintings of the same sad guy
No, wait--this store sells mirrors!
See what I did there?
Let's rock! No.
I saw an old man slip and fall
Hey, what a fucking idiot
I saw a woman at her daughter's funeral
Ha ha ha. Classic comedy.
Everything that once was sad
Is somehow funny now
The Holocaust and 9/11
That shit's funny 24/7, cuz
Tragedy will be exclusively joked about
Because my empathy is bumming me out
Goodbye, sadness
Hello jokes.