Put your heavy metal to the test
Might be half a love song in it all for you
Timing wise it's probably for the best
Come here and kiss me now before it gets too cute
Chorus:
Mr. Schwartz is staying strong for the crew
Wardrobe's lint-rolling your velveteen suit
Smudging dubbin on your dancing shoes
Gradually, it's coming into view
It's like your little directorial debut
As fine a time as any to deduce
The fact that neither you or I has ever had a clue
Chorus:
Mr. Schwartz is stayin' strong for the crew
Wardrobe's lint-rollin' your velveteen suit
And smudgin' dubbin' on your dancin' shoes
And if we guess who I'm pretending to be
Do we win a prize?
Having attempted twice, both incorrectly
Do we get a third try?
The gloved hand's reaching in to hit the switch
There's not one god damn thing that you can do about this
Chorus:
Mr. Schwartz is havin' tea with the grips
Askin' after all the wives and the kids
It's at the heart of what the business is